{"id":17703,"date":"2024-02-21T20:19:52","date_gmt":"2024-02-21T15:19:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/editorials\/coach-neurologist-christa-fairbrother-copy\/"},"modified":"2024-02-21T21:25:42","modified_gmt":"2024-02-21T16:25:42","slug":"unmappable-candida-moreira","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/editorials\/unmappable-candida-moreira\/","title":{"rendered":"unmappable"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">\u201cmake a map,\u201d she says\nand already i am lost.\ni understand what's being asked;\ni don't know if it's possible to make a map of feelings.\ndiligently i assemble a list of parts:\n                       title, scale, orientation, legend, border.\nit's a representation of something\n                                              or of some place\n                                                                    in relation to\n                                                                               some other thing or\n                                                                                          some other place.\n\n<em>start simple<\/em> i hear myself say.\n<em>use a title to identify location, purpose, themes\n<\/em><strong><em>unmappable!! <\/em><\/strong>my brain offers up,\ndelighted by its own rebellion, and\n                                   the rest spills out of me\n                                   faster than i can decide where to put it\n                                                                                            or what to put it next to.\nauthoritative and dramatic my mind passionately insists\n                                                     there is no container for feelings this expansive \n                                                           no scale that will help an observer understand\n                                                           the real world measure of my intensity.\n\nbefore i can respond\na part of me sneers;\nand tells me that i am too self-absorbed and\n                                                                                unworthy\n                                                                                            of\n                                                                                                        taking\n                                                                                                                    up\n                                                                                                                            <strong>s p a c e <\/strong>.\nshe tells me\n                      i\u2019m obnoxious to even consider\n                                                        mapping it out.\n\nanother part insists that i\n<em>must make a map<\/em> \u2013\n                                  a map that helps others who are lost find their way.\n\n<strong><em>welcome to the land of double binds and paradoxical feelings!\n<\/em><\/strong>                                                                                              my mind announces\n                                                                                              taunting me.\nin this place\n                                                         up means down\n                                                         and go means stop\n                                                         and the compass cannot choose\n                                                                     one\n                                                                     true\n                                                                     north.\n\ni do not know how to make a map                               of being in two places at once.\n\n\nwhat topography can i use \nto represent infinite directions and\n                                   immeasurable depths?\nhow can I accurately delineate a landscape\nthat is both undulating\nand             in            a          straight         line?\nwhat legend will decode this lushly barren terrain?\n\ni do not like borders and\n           feel\n                       stifled   \n                       by\n                       lines: i <sup>only<\/sup> ever <sub>want to<\/sub> colour <sup>outside<\/sup> <sub>of them.<\/sub>\nand\ni want to show you\nand draw you (in)\nand i want to help you understand\nhow and why and where and when\n                                                         my feelings populate\n                                                                                and take up\n                                                                                all\n                                                                                the\n                                                                                space inside me.\ni want to teach you how i use them\nand how they help me to find my way\neven when i don\u2019t know where i\u2019m going.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignfull bio-group has-smoke-background-color has-background is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\" style=\"padding-top:2rem;padding-bottom:2rem\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-decoration:underline\">Bio<\/h2>\n\n\n            <div class=\"wp-block-media-text bio is-stacked-on-mobile is-vertically-aligned-bottom is-image-fill\" style=\"grid-template-columns:33% auto\"> \r\n                <figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\" style=\"background-image:url(https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/img_8795-scaled.jpeg);background-position:50% 50%\">\r\n                    <img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/img_8795-scaled.jpeg\" alt=\"\" \/>\r\n                <\/figure>\r\n                <div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\r\n                    <h3 class=\"author-bio-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/editorials\/creator\/candida-moreira\/\">candida moreira<\/a><\/h3>\r\n                    <p><strong>candida moreira<\/strong> is a portuguese-canadian writer, therapist &amp; tedx speaker who thrives at the intersection of language and feelings. she is passionate about smashing stigmas and encouraging folks to move through the world owning all of who they are. she has a knack for complicating things, colouring outside the lines, and taking the scenic route. her poem &#8220;covid pants&#8221; was recently published in the <a href=\"https:\/\/analytic-room.com\/community-projects\/the-things-they-wrote\/\"><em>things they wrote<\/em><\/a>, a community project featuring healthcare workers put out by <em>ROOM: A Sketchbook For Analytic Action<\/em>. you can connect with her at www.candidamoreira.com or on IG @thefeelingswhisperer<\/p>\r\n                <\/div>\r\n            <\/div>\r\n          <\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cmake a map,\u201d she says and already i am lost. i understand what&#8217;s being asked; i don&#8217;t know if it&#8217;s possible to make a map of feelings. diligently i assemble a list of parts: title, scale, orientation, legend, border. it&#8217;s a representation of something or of some place in relation to some other thing or [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"3305","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"16394,17284,16691,16965","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3305],"tags":[],"genre":[150],"publisher":[],"issue":[],"poet-in-residence":[],"series":[3262],"topic":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17703"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17703"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17703\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17709,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17703\/revisions\/17709"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17703"},{"taxonomy":"genre","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/genre?post=17703"},{"taxonomy":"publisher","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/publisher?post=17703"},{"taxonomy":"issue","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/issue?post=17703"},{"taxonomy":"poet-in-residence","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/poet-in-residence?post=17703"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=17703"},{"taxonomy":"topic","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcpoetry.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/topic?post=17703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}