hard femmes are my undoing
unravelling me piece by piece
I costume myself in knee-high boots,
             black leather jacket, smoky black eyeliner
cosplaying someone beautiful
designed to make you swoon
undo you long enough
             to let me in

my hair always picks up the scent
             of your shampoo-ad mane
from the single pillow in your twin bed
I’m too fucking old for this
but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be instead

I almost buy you a second pillow
before you break it off with me
saving me the trip to Bed Bath and Beyond
credit-card evidence
             of how hard-up I am

Bios

Catherine Lewis

Catherine Lewis (she/her) is a Chinese Canadian writer based in Vancouver. Her debut poetry chapbook Zipless (845 Press) is a finalist for the 2021 Bisexual Book Awards in both the Poetry and the Bi Writer of the Year categories. Her poetry and creative nonfiction are published or forthcoming in The Humber Literary Review, Pulp Literature, PRISM international and The Fiddlehead. A graduate of the Writer’s Studio at Simon Fraser University, she is a Banff Centre Literary Arts alumna. Catch her on Twitter or Instagram at @cat_writes_604 or at www.catherinewriter.com. [provided April 2023]